Overcoming your limiting beliefs

Don't stop believing – great song, great advice. Except if your belief is holding you back, in which case you need to stop believing in said belief immediately. Sound weirdly complicated? Don't worry. We're here to make it easy.

You have many beliefs about yourself. Some of these beliefs may be conscious, and others will be subconscious. Some will be constructive and beneficial, while other beliefs will hold you back, often without you even realising. These are what we call limiting beliefs. We all have them, but we don't all recognise them. It’s crucial that we become aware of these beliefs as they have a big impact on the career opportunities that come our way.

A friend of ours Luke, recently interviewed for a marketing job that he desperately wanted. After the interview, he was devastated to hear that he didn't get the job. He reflected on what happened, and told us, "It's because I'm awful in interviews, I can never think on my feet!". Our response: You're exactly right. 

Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely. 

This is a classic example of a limiting belief. Unfortunately, Luke's limiting belief became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like his suit and tie, he takes this belief with him to every job interview. And sure enough, what happens? He doesn't perform well in interviews and doesn't get the job.

Belief is a powerful thing. It shapes our thoughts, behaviour, and actions. And, like Luke, our limiting beliefs sabotage our ability to achieve our goals. In many cases, we aren't even aware of their impact. That's why it's essential to identify and ultimately reframe these limiting beliefs.

So how do you identify a limiting belief if you're not conscious of it?

Our simple model "Capture, Critique, and Correct" will help you identify and ultimately overcome your limiting beliefs. 

Capture

Before you can correct a limiting belief, you first need to capture what your limiting belief actually is.

Like spearfishing, it requires a lot of focused attention and patience. First, you'll need to search for the good spots, and then you'll need to watch and wait. Then, once you find your target, you'll need to move quickly to catch it.  

Capturing the limiting beliefs you have about yourself is the same. Your beliefs are beneath the surface – they are hard to spot and catch. But it's not impossible. With focus, patience, and active listening, you can capture your beliefs. 

How to capture your limiting beliefs

To start, you need to make the subconscious, conscious. Look out for your limiting belief narrative. We find that listening to what you say about yourself is one of the best ways to identify your beliefs. Like Luke, think about the narrative you tell yourself. Notice what you think about yourself. Like the old saying goes: "I think; therefore I am". Your thoughts have power. They show what you believe about yourself. These are a few things to watch out for.

Absolute statements or binary thinking:

• "I'm always overlooked for promotions"
• "I can’t speak well in public"
• "I get so nervous that I never stand out in an interview"
• "I'm not talented enough"
• "This project I'm leading will fail."

Self-deprecating comments:

• “I'm terrible at communicating my ideas”
• “I’ll never look good to a hiring manager”
• “I’m not skilled enough.”

Critique

Once you've captured your limiting belief, then you need to critique it. Pretend you're a film critic watching your limiting belief narrative play out on the big screen. Critically analysing what you believe is an important step. You'll begin to pull apart your limiting beliefs to understand how they are impacting you. 

Ask yourself: 

• Is this belief accurate 100% of the time (i.e., is it a fact or is it simply my hypothesis)? 
• When have I seen evidence of this belief being untrue?
• Am I giving this thought too much air time? 
• If my friend was saying this about themselves, what would my response be? 
• What other things do I know about myself that contradict this belief? 
• How is this belief impacting me?
• How is this belief helping me? 

Correct

By now, you've done the hard yards. You've captured your limiting belief. You've critiqued it. Now make like your high school English teacher and get out the red pen. Start to mark up and correct those limiting beliefs. 

This is the fun part where you get to rewrite the belief narrative. You can recreate and reframe your beliefs to more accurately reflect you and make sure they don’t hold you back in your career. 

To start correcting your limiting belief you need to:

• Find a friend and talk it through. Get support from someone who can highlight what is and isn’t true about you. Don’t let the negative talk bring you down, work on letting truth, constructiveness and positive energy build you back up.
• Reframe the statements you’ve accepted as truth. Exchange them for something constructive, true and positive. Instead of “I’m the worst at job interviews” change it to “I’m working on my interview skills”. This will have a positive impact on how you show up to interviews.
• Take small steps that contribute to positive belief. For example, if you hear yourself say “a project I lead will fail”, then set up tasks to increase your chance of success. Find a mentor who can share their learnings with you. Ask them about how they have managed fear of failure and what practices they use to increase their chance of success. Celebrate the small project wins so that you start to see the progress you’re making along the way.
• Don’t expect perfection. Look for growth instead. Perfection is an impossible standard and adds unnecessary pressure. Aim for small steps that build long term growth.

Emily Bowen and Shelley Johnson are HR professionals and host the my millennial career podcast.